I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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