escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
