Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
