i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize