He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
