did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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