Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Randomize
