i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize