We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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