He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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