i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Mom said you looked used
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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