We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
