Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
