so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
