i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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