i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
