You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
