he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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