You're so nebulous sometimes
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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