I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
