I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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