people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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