I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
