Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
