I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
