What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
