Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
