That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
