they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
