We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
