You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
