the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the day after is always just damage control
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
