I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
