I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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