Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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