I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
