his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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