I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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