Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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