she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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