I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
