that's an acceptable place to lick
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
