What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
