Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
