also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
