He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize