He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
