wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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