I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
