just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
