Me. At least after what I've been through.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
