The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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