Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
