Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize