I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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