thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
