Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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