If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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