Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
