how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize