what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
