He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
