porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
